Faulty equipment
by KING UNDER DOG
Summary: SAO, a game turned into a death trap for thousands of players, but what if for one player with less than standard equipment it really was, JUST a game. Join our on orthodox protagonist as he plays a death game like the MMORPG it really is an also wonder way everyone one else is taking it so seriously, it's not like you die in real life it you died in the game... Right?
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR S NOTE:I DONT OWN SOA IN ANY FORM BESIDES MY FANFIC.

* * *

"great,just great!" a rough irritated voice said, while it was absolutely a male voice,only it was a few tones lighter than the average man showing that the owner was not fully matured yet, a boy still, only just mid-way throw puberty at most.

"mother fucker! "

But the mouth of a sailor no doubt.

Trowing another curse in his tantrum the boy groaned over the opened box on his desk with him hands ruffling through his ever tangled greasy hair that after 4 days of not showering was practically covered in grim, dirt an crumbs,if he was ever paying attention to his body more self consciously he would also of noticed the God awful smell his room was emiting.

To put it lightly if anyone with even a slight sense of cleanliness would evacuate the building like it was on fire if they so much as set foot in his small one bedroom than once had his landlord, a elderly old lady had to check up on him to make sure the foul stench wasn't his corpse rotting somewhere in her apartment always he would just fan her away, near making her pass out from uncovering his armpit to wave her off, "I'm just marthoning another game Ms. Gibbons, nothing to worry about, eh I guess Ive been at it a while huh, oh by the way what day is it again, still summer right? ".

This was what most people would call a serious problem, but to Ms. Gibbons,the lady covering her nose with the neck of her blouse, this was sadly becoming a norm to her, ever since the boy had been move in less than 6 months ago she had been subjected to his horrible habbits, he refused to clean the messes he left, had the electricity on all day burning through the already high electricity bill to play his damned games all day an refuses to turn them off even when he leaves the room, an that's only for either to buy convenience store food or more of those blasted games!,ever since school had let out for summer break it had truly just been a cycle of play, eat an sleep for the brat, it was very concerning at first but at this point she got use to it. .he was your classic shut-in,but only much worse as most shut-in's we're atlest quit an easy to tolerate,HE,on the other hand didn't even once consider the other residents in the building everyday he shouted profanities at his screen anytime he was getting in "the zone" as he called it trying to defend himself.

the worse part was she couldn't even evict him!, she couldn't afford to, times we're hard an the boys estranged parents always regularly made payments for the boys rent long before they we're ever due, an they always had it delivered in hard cash too. Curse them, curse them for making her have to put up with their spon.

Speaking of said boy he was still glaring at the item on his desk with both irritation an disappointment. Sitting at his desk next to a freshly opened packing box was a helmet, not just an helmet but a top of the line nerve gear helmet... Well top of the line 2 years ago, now it would be considered really outdated ...an defective if the cracks on the sides an duck tape wrapped around it said anything, it didn't help that the duck tape had the words "slightly used " written on it.

"Slightly used my butt, what did he even use it for, target practice? " the boy groaned slouched over his desk sulking over his package an he had been so excited too. Let recap.

nerve gear was a revelational piece of technology that had only just come to the forefront of the gaming world in the passed few years, many trails an errors had come an gone in between that time, quit a few researchers had lost their funding an had their careers follow soon after but just as the project was about to be dismissed a break through happened, a scientist,no a brilliant Japanese innovater who did the impossible an completed the nerve gear technology finally bridging the digital virtual world with reality he'd succeeded where many others had failed. Creating whole new worlds of possibilities in the advancement of mankind.

An what do you think mankind did first with this new stage of human engineering near rivaling creation itself?, simple,we tried making video games out of it ofcorse, what? Wouldn't you try doing that too?.

Anyway the first few games with the beta equipment went Amazingly with all beta testers basically begging to work overtime just to have more time in the virtual world, there we're already millions of videos about nerve gear simulationions an walk throughs on the internet quickly spreading the technologies fame all over the world making many outside of the nation of Japan where the tech was only lisenced extremely amazed an equally envious especially after the beta for near gears first MMORPG was released causing the internet to practically explode with fans practically worshiping the beta as a gamers ultimate goal in life, to be one with a game,to remove onceself from the boredom of real life an dive into a whole new world, lord knows the otakus in Japan practically fought to the death over the very limited chance to become a beta tester, only 1000 people in Japan are aloud a 3 month sneak peek on the next evelotion in gaming before the full release would launch in less than an 4 weeks from then .

Needless to say, the american fans were doing everything they could to get a copy of nerve gear be it legal or not including the boy who had damn near Max out his credit card to buy what he needed, he wasn't worried, his parents wouldn't even bother looking at the bill they would just pass it off as another "toy" he was wasting his life with an the whole thing would just be out of their heads by the next day not even caring.

getting a copy of the game was the easy part,turrent had damn near everything now a days but just to be safe he had to get a hard copy from a few low-key connections he had on online forums, for a price of course. Next Was The substanculy more difficult part that took him weeks to procure without being caught or scammed online,obtianing a working nerve gear helmet, to put it likely getting one outside of Japan was near impossible. the stores that sold them refused to ship or even mail them under strict law of both the Japanese gaming industry an for some reason the UN, it seemed the thought of this level of technology being in the hands of international buyers was seen as a threat, for what reason nobody knew,many just blamed it on Japan being stingy with their advanced technology an some others out of the blue blamed whinny feminists for once again ruining gaming for everyone again, nobody forgot the bullshit they pulled at the UN last time.

They could not purchase the helmets legally so many tried illegally with poor results, turns out the government actually took shit like this seriously an the few who tried we're tracked,charged an arrested for illegal trafficing ,turns out all the new final models had built in tracking devices built in an activates once it leaves the island into international waters,there was even a story on the news about a man who trafficed in bulk getting 3 years without parole, that pretty much discurrage even the most hardcore gamers from trying, well most of them.

Him on the other hand was a little bit more... Obsessed.

If you hadn't already noticed the boy had some serious problems with both his social an personal life, one could blame the parents or his anti-social childhood mix with a whole mixed bag of made up mental disorders that not even child psychologists took seriously, but we're more than willing to shove pills down his throat as a child if it meant they got a bigger payment in the end.

Anyways after years of this cycle of drugging him up with pills in hopes he would act normal his oh so loving parents gave up an dumped him off in a fully stocked apartment to attend his first year of highschool in a city a couple states over, they just couldn't take the embarrassment anymore, while other children were doing things to make their parents proud theirs was frankly just an eye sore at best , they didn't ..intentionally hate him,infact they hoped a little solitude away would make him more responsible an grow out of it ,they did care,if not the orphanage would have more mouth to feed, but it's just that, he was not normal, while most children would play outside an make friends he would only stay inside an play by himself an frighteningly talk to himself, that's when the therapy started.

He never really blamed his parents for being feed up with him, in all honesty he didn't even think about it much, all he knew was he now had all the free time he wanted to do as he felt, sure on some level he understood it wasn't healthy an he was growing rings under his eyes from lack of sleep an the junk food scattered all over the floor was both bad for him in calories an gathering dust an bugs, but he didn't care, most things that didn't affect his gaming hardly bothered him, his therapist had once said his constant need to play games was some sort of cooping mechanism to counter anxiety an to have a release outside of socializing normally with others. He never once understood what that doc was talking about,It wasn't that he couldn't if he tried, he had traded many conversations easily with others over the years but they we're mostly over the internet on chat rooms, it was basically his only place to be open, even if it was just superficial.

Which is while others backed away an gave up he calmed the net day an night searching for something, anything he could find until he finally found it on a Black market online auction on the deep web, ordinarily he would egnore this like this on the count of the high risk of being mixed up in highly illegal contraband but then something caught his tired eyes, the headlines of the auction.

*BETA NERVE GEAR HELMET *

his heart nearly stopped as he read the headlines, he had studied every version of the nerve gear manuals to try an find some why around the tracking device but always came up fruitless an frustrated, but never once had the thought of obtaining an original beta helmet crossed his mind, he clearly remembered from reading a article that the creators of nerve gear had asked the beta testers to return the helmets to then have them replaced with the final version an a full copy of the game free of charge, logically everyone had thought the beta testers would of practically thrown their gear at them to get the final versions .

But apparently someone was more interested in making some money off theirs instead. Without hesitation he placed a bit on the helmet, all the final versions had built in trackers but the originals on the other hand...

After hours of try to out bid others he was finally able to win the auction an have the helmet delivered within the week, he was so happy he even took a liking needed show an much needed nap to rest up for his soon to be non-stop gaming, in that time nearly confused him for a burglar when she found him sleeping on his couch actually clean a had his usually messy hair combed. Luckily for him before she could pull out her peper spray he was able to calm her down by ruffling up back his hair making himself look more like his normal self.

MS. Gibbons put down the spice.

But now after days of preparation an hard work actually going to the trouble of cleaning up the place for this acation,again shocking poor old Ms. Gibbons who thought she had walked into the twilight zone when came for her next visit that day only to find him dusty down the place.

She kept checking his temperature after that for some reason.

An finally the day had come, in a white box covered in stamps an Japanese words was what he had spent most of his monthly allowance on, so imagine his great dissapointment when it turns out his revolutional ground breaking super vr equipment was just banged up near useless .the thing needed some serious repairs on the outside to fix all the cracks scratches an missing glass but lucky after tinkering with it for a couple hours he was able to find out that the damage was mostly just external damage an it should work like in the manual if he always kept it plugged in while using it, the internal batter was junk so it wouldn't last more than 30 seconds unplugged.

Now with only 3 minutes left till launch he decided it was time to finally put his efforts to the final test a put on the helmet turning it on while laying flat on hit bed.

Then everything turned black scaring him for moment as he lost all feeling in his body an nothing was happening, but before he could panic the darkness turned to rainbow colors until it turned into a blue tinted room with him floating in the middle of it all with big blocked words hovering above his head.

 **Welcome user**

It works!

 **Custumise your avatar**

he didn't even bother looking at what he choice being too happy this was actually happing!,I mean shit!,he was in a actual video game, could be selling his organs in real life while he was here an he wouldn't give a shit!.

 **Avatar creation... Success**

 **Calculating language translator an time setting...success.**

 **All languages to English ...time 11:59 am.**

 **Scanning users body type...success**

 **Scanning users imputed password an email... Success**

 **Name your avatar...**

"well I guess it doesn't really matter, I can just change it later right, so how's about... Gaijin ? "

 **Name accepted, registering username Gaijin,prepare for full dive into SWORD ART ONLINE in**

 **5..**

This is it

 **4..**

 **3..**

Finally

 **2..**

 **1..**.

 **/XXXXXXXXXX**

In a flash of blue light a the form of a brown boy in green standard beginners gear appeared standing in the middle of a town square sarounded by many other players all simulator to in appearance, opening his dark blue eyes in absolute wonder the as he absolutely gawked at the world he was now in watching with held breath as players all around bantered an walked around in armour an robes ,carrying around ridiculous weapons like it was the average anime expo made him near leak tears of joy.

"well traveler, new to the city I see, let's get started on making you a honest living,follow me! " a woman, clearly a npc said next to him, realizing this was most likely the tutorial he followed her to her shop, it was a small stand the oddly had his specific green an brown colors to behind her stall the npc raised her hand an a list of weapons appeared sudden infront of him startling him at first. "choice your weapon traveler, a weapon is every travelers life line,without it it's almost guaranteed death outside of the towns or other safe areas"it explained not even loosing it's almost creepy facial expression took on a more serious tone tho afterwards, be warned traveler once you've chosen a weapon you an not allowed to change it or use anything else outside of small meelee weapons, for example, darts, kunai and rocks"she explained.

Nodding in understanding he didn't hesitate in reaching for the sword symbol but unfortunately his faulty equipment choose then to start glitching it was nothing too bothering, a bearly noticeable lost in focus but it was all it took for his hand to miss it's Mark an landed just under the symbol for sword, an instead landed on the symbol for a standard bow an arrow actualy surprised at the action.

"excellent choice traveler, not many choose the Nobel art of archery,many just go with the heavily faviored sword or Lance, this is the first Archer I've meet In while " she chimed happily not realizing it was a mistake.

"no i-"

"may the spirits guild you on your journeys traveler, or should I say Mr. Archer " the npc said as in a flash both her an he stall disappeared in a flash of blue light leaving only a dumbfounded boy with a plain old wooden bow in his hands.

"wait.. What the hell just happened? "

 **XXXXXXXXXXX**.

"status report " a calm yet dominant voice said in a dark room lit dimly by the glow of a blue holographic of a 100 story floating structure in the center of the room .It was a fully accurate scale models of castle Aincrad,his greatest creation.

 **"reporting,all systems are fully functioning with no errors on every scanner in every secter an all updates are complete "** a almost robotic voice answered his request. "

"any unseen preformance problems? " the dominant voice said.

 **"no, all foreign entities are restricted from any point on entry an all players are fully immersed into project Aincrad with full success "**

"good" the voice said with a pause, "how many"

 **"..."**

"how many have logged on since the launch started? " he said explaining his question with a almost purr of hunger in his voice, if the AI he was conversing with had a physical spin it would be shivering by now.

 **"project Aincrad has... Gone far beyond it's initial goal " the robotic voice said, "at its current rate the project should have over 345% more than the in needed set minimum in lest than an hours time "**

The AI was relatively a new born in terms of life experience an could only bearly comprehend the existence of emotions much less feel them for itself, but from what it knew the feeling it got when it's very creator across the room started smiling widely , was most closest thing to the feeling of fear it could currently register.

"over..fourty thousand.." the man breathed almost bursting into laughter as if the very thought of so many clueless souls all filling into his creation with glee,was the best joke he had ever heard he knew the response would be great an the launch would gather so many so quickly, truly word of his work had reached far an wide, he let out chuckle at the thought of all naive fouls coming into HIS world thinking it would just be a simple game.

"ha...haha.. HAHAHA! "

the AI didn't know what concerned it more, the fate of the players or the fact that now it was actually feeling a tingle on its non existent spin.

 **/XXXXXXXXXXX**

On a far of cliff watching the artificial sunset over the horizon two new players were enjoying the scene, one with the look of pleasant nistogia an the other a look of concern.

"so what do you think " the boy of the two asked his companion as a gentle breeze came ruffling their heir slightly making the girl shiver from actually feeling the chill of the air.

"it's weird "

"but cool right? "

"ye-yes, yeah it's cool it's just... Not what I expected... nee-san"

"what?,but what's not to like I'm mean look at the place, it's even better than the beta"

"if you say so nee-san " she said conseeding to his statement not even bothering to argue, even though she didn't agree internally, but she would comply to make her brother who was the real one excited about all this happy, it had so long since she saw him smiling so much an he had been doing it almost non-stop since they signed, if it meant keeping his good mood she would stay on SAO a little longer, maybe play with him 3 times a week or so just to keep him company, he did go through the trouble of buying her a nerve gear helmet as well after all. Speaking of which where did he get the money to possibly afford more than one,they were not cheap.

"I guess Im just not use to it" she said hoping to end the discussion quickly,all that got was her unusualy cheerful brother to pull her into a side hug as he smiled broadly at the setting sun.

"you'll see, an long as I'm here I'll make sure you'll never want to leave Suguha"

Resisting the side hug for moment suguha eventually gave up a let happen.

"fine, it actually doesn't seem too bad, maybe.. Maybe I'll like it"

"that's the spirit! " he said near putting her in a choke hold as his arm looped around her neck by accident.

"eeh-hah! "she choked out.

"yeah I know I'm excited too, this is sooo much freaking better than the beta!" her brother said with a grin.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **I DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME, IVE JUST GOT SO MANY FIC IDEAS I END UP NEGLECTING OTHERS, I NEED TO FOCUS!**


	2. Chapter 2

do you know what it's like to see a horned bunny sweet drop?.

Weirrd question I know but give it though, the weakest an most pathetic monster in all RPG's next to slime sweet dropping at you the player for failing for the last 10 minutes to kill it.

Standing unafraid at this point on a grass field covered in dozens of low grade frail wooden arrows that stuck in the ground in different angles all nowhere near their intended target was a white pelted horned rabbit that deadpand at the extremely frustrated archer who stomped on the ground in rage after his last (key word) "attempt" on the low level monsters life ended with his arrow zipping into a tree 10 feet behind the horned rabbit.

On the bright side he finally managed to nail something, that'll show that momma bird to not feed her baby birds while he was around!

But back to the matter at hand 'gaijin' as the name floating over the green clad avatar labeled was NOT enjoying his current predicament.

Not only had he lost the chance to get his weapon of choice which would of been a sword, but thanks to a glitch in his equipment he instead got stuck with what had to be hands down the WORSE weapon an states in the game!.

He wasn't over exaggerating either, despite what one would think becoming an archer didn't automatically give you perfect aim or control of where your arrows went, it just means you had a much farther range to miss your target with crocked shoots that you still needed to focus an aim for just to get CLOSE to your target!.

even his states didn't help as even though as a archer his states should cover his aim even more so than any other avatar his showed that his hand eye coordination only applied to meele weapons,in a way it made some sense, a bow an arrow was useless up close ,in a real fight a archer would have to depend on their reflexes an speed, but not necessarily to kill, unlike a swordsman avatar like he had wanted from the start, a archer doesn't have nearly as much physical strength or durability,no matter how much he tries to cut or slash at a monster I wouldn't be nearly as effective as a clean shoot with one of his arrows would, in all honesty his level 1 beginner's hunting knife was practically a decoration in a actual fight, at best it would help stun an enemy while he ran away for cover or more likely to just flee in general.

If that wasn't already bad archer was one of the FEW avatars that couldn't equip a shield!,nope apparently that basic RPG essential was cut out for him on the grounds that archers needed both hands to weld their weapon!, utter horse shit!.

So he was basically a glass cannon with no real use in a fight with a moving target, or hell a siting one, the horned rabbit had long since gotten bored an sat down to scratch itself completely ignoring the boy who was trying his damnedest to kill it.

Finally having enough of this the boy pulled out his hunting knife an trade to charge the rabbit head on with a downward slash hoping to rip the little bastared to shreds.

Only for the rabbit to passively hop out of the way at the last moment then bounce on the tips of its furry feet an slam horn first into the chest of the boy who's body was still off balanced from his swing knocking him over an leaving a small red mark in the chest of his green beginner's armor showing he took damage.

Groaning the boy rubbed his chest sitting up to glare at the pint sized monster who looked like it was smirking smugly back at him. Apparently monster's are also programed with a sense of pride, even the weak ones.

"OK that's it you little shit your dead!" gaijin growled getting to his feet grabbing his knife again for another slash only to miss again as the rabbit seemed to always be able to easily doging each time, which was just insane considering speed was his highest state but it seemed that in battle that only applied to the speed in which he could fire an arrow after another not actual reaction speed.

Because of this the low level monster could easily avoid his relatively slow attacks with his knife.

After all this particular monster used it's speed as its main ability as well an agility, under normal circumstances with a avatar like a worrier or bezerker he was sure the fight would have been much more different as they would attack far too fast for the rabbit to dodge an be too durable to be affected by its lack luster attacks.

If anything this monster was just supposed to be experience fodder, a cheap easy kill monster that players only killed to try out sword skills on, an here he was getting his ass kicked by one.

But it was true, even though it's attacks were simple an barely did anything damage over time a mix of its agility an his zero reflexes with a knife caused more than a half of his health to disappear driving his health bar to the edge of orange bordering on to red.

Meanwhile just 3 feet away was a smug looking horned rabbit smirking up at him who didn't even get hit once

This was some bullshit!

He was loosing to a rabbit!,a fucking rabbit!,he could practically hear the horned rabbit say the word "noob" ,it was mocking him!, he just knew it!.

"aaah! " with a battle cry born of rage gaijin dropped his knife entirely an tackled the rabbit who was now shocked to find that it couldn't dodge fast enough this time as the boy grabbed it by the left ear pulling it with him into a tumble as they rolled down the slope of the hill they were fighting on an land on some harder dirt that would of probably hurt gaijin even more if he didn't using the rabbit as a shield to break his fall.

Said rabbit laid flattened underneath him twitching as he pulled himself up an dusted himself off, it seemed his fall only took a sliver of his health leaving him just barely in the red, but at that moment he didn't care,he won!

Twitch

Well almost.

Pulling out his bow out of his inventory gaijin smirked down at his flattened foe as he angled his arrows to the center of the vile beast know for a fact that at this close there was no way he would miss when he released the arrow.

Then he felt the same buzzing feeling he had before when he got stuck with his bow for a weapon as his arms an bow stated shimmering in in a green blocky glitch, it lasted for only few moments an when it finally stopped.

He looked down at the rabbit only to be shocked, it seemed in his surprise at the glitch his fired his arrows that was now imbedded deep inside the violently flailing hored rabbit.

It wasn't that he actually got a hit that shocked him, no what shocked him was that the arrow was glitching the same way his bow was.

An so was the rabbit.

Gaijin stood there in morbid fascination as the rabbit glitched rappidly from different colors, shapes an sizes for a couple seconds until it finally burst into red code signaling it's death.

Then it came back sarounded by items.

Wait, what?

Blinking in confusion the game addict looked down in wonder at the equality dumbfounded rabbit who seemed just as surprised at its still could of sworn it had just gone to the big carrot field in the sky a moment ago.

An what was all this junk it was sitting on?

Looking around itself the rabbit saw items a few of his kind were rumored to loose once defeated in battle with the vermin known as humans.

A bag of gold,as standard laid off to the side,much bigger than normal as it practically dripped gold with what had to be several hundred forced into a small ,a price fitting perfectly for a powerful beast such as him, obviously the gods have recognized his strength an saw fit to make his life be worth far more than his brethren.

But even still the other things next the gold made little sense, there were 12 horned rabbit's feet which would count up to 3 horned rabbit's instead of one, 9 white pelts,again only on horned rabbit.

An finally a item that actually surprised him into shock... Impossible.

That couldn't be here, not now an most certainly not with him, even if he was in the favor of the God's there was no way he should of been in possession of such a item!.

On the ground was a whistle. An wooded red witsle that was in the shape of a small horn.

His shock was only stopped when he saw the human reach for it, he couldn't let it happen!, he had to stop this!

"stop! ",the human froze instantly an snapped his head to him wide eyed.

"get your damned dirty ape hands away from the relic human! " the rabbit shouted thinking he was in control of the situation as the human looked stunned by his words, this made the rabbit smirk,but of course, the human was in the presence of greatness after all,it would only make sense it would be in awe.

As the monster was patting itself on the back for being so amazing he failed to notice gaijin walk over to him with his eyes filled with wonder staring down .

"wow... This is... Fucking awesome!" the boy exclaimed looking at the rabbit in a who new light, "I knew the finished version would have more features than in the beta but holy shit they really out done themselves this time! "

He kneeled to the rabbits eye level completely disregarding his own safety in order to get a better look at the rabbit.

"hey human what are you-" the rabbit was cut off when he was picked up by the human an inspected .

"I artificial intelligence that reacts life like enough to almost pass as sentience,an it specks English!, well Japanese technically, but the language translator turned it into perfect English!.

"let go of me you swine!" the rabbit voiced biting down as hard as his bucked teeth could on the boys hand hopping the pain would make him let go.

Or at least that was the plan, the moment his teeth clamped down on gaijins hand two things happened, the rabbits teeth froze just a hair away from sinking into skin an a green tinted sign appeared floating over it's head.

[horned rabbit]

[Level 2]

[16 xp to next level]

[pet]

the horned rabbit had seen many strange things in its life but floating word's over it's head head after being somehow resurrected from the death an then fondled by a human he was sure no other monster could put into better words their response to all this.

"the fuck"


End file.
